Diary of a Dreamland Foreigner
by wimpykirby
Summary: The Heffley Family takes a road trip to Dreamland...the horror begins! :D
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Greg and Rowley are running away from Rodrick...what happens next?

_STORY TIME!_

Dear Journal,

Today turned out to be...quite weird, to say the least. I'll explain as I go along.

* * *

"Come back here!" shouted Rodrick. He was chasing a wimpy kid and his dim wit friend all around the house. They went outside to get away from him, but he locked them outside. They both knocked, but Rodrick didn't open. They all tried to find another way in, but Rodrick planned ahead. Then their dad came in, and Rodrick POLITELY opened the door for him. They tried to sneak in behind him, but he saw them.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE THIS LATE!" he shouted loudly.

* * *

Rowley was sleeping over so he got yelled at too. Dad was in RAGE the whole time. For 20 minutes, we got yelled at, while Rodrick got off scot free. He even stayed behing just to listen to his words and laugh at us! It was plain obvious to see, but Dad only saw what he wanted to see...

* * *

Rowley and Greg went up to Greg's room. Greg's mom came back and called him to take up his laundry. Greg walked down.

"Mom, do I have to?" he asked.

"Yes." his mom said.

So Greg took up his clothes. Snacks were hidden in there, but no one knew. Not even Rowley, because he would blab. Greg went upstairs and pretended to study for a while. Then, when everyone was asleep, he and Rowley ate snacks while reading comics and playing video games. They stayed up until 3 am. Since it was Saturday, they woke up at 12. They had to go on a road trip, so they got ready. The back seat order was: Manny, then Rowley, then Greg, then Rodrick from left to right.

* * *

The actual trip was okay, but Manny kept whining, and Rodrick kept pranking me, and Rowley kept having to stop at a rest area.

* * *

"Where are we going again?" asked Frank.

"We're going to...Dreamland." said Susan.

"Yawn. What a snoozefest." said Greg. Rowley laughed way out loud.

* * *

Little did I know what would happen next...

* * *

_MANY HOURS LATER_

They arrived at Green Greens. They were suddenly surrounded by Waddle Dees and Waddle Doos. Rowley and Manny cried, and the rest of them kicked them away, but more came. When they got to their car, it was wrecked by the enemies. They were completely surrounded by multiplying Waddle Dees and Waddle Doos, and more new enemies were coming...

* * *

I would tell you what happened next, but I'm all out of pages, NO LIE. Maybe next week?


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, I got my new diary (correction: JOURNAL) earlier than I thought. I guess my mom really wants me to write. Here's what happened for the past 3 days I was gone. Some weird guy in a penguin suit showed up, and then a small pink creature (believe it or not, it's a HE) showed up and...ATE everyone except for the penguin. Then he got super powers out of nowhere and beat the big guy. But that's not even the weirdest part! After Mom decided to cancel the trip, the creature summoned a flying star and we all rode on it and flew home. I wish we could have left Rodrick and Manny behind, but we can't have nice things, can we?

From there, nothing else really happened, but the person (I'll call him Pinky until further notice) ate all of the food in the house. Sorry, I should say sucked in. I was actually kind of glad he did, because I was getting tired of plain Cheerios every day. He even ate all of Grandpa's nasty leftover watercrest salad! So we went to the store, and when no one was looking, he ate much of the food there. Did he EVER get full? Not that I was complaining.

He must have read my mind, because he mainly ate stuff I didn't really like. If he reads minds, I just hope he doesn't find out about Holly Hills. Mom didn't actually cook any of the food we bought, so it wasn't all great. She did buy me a new diary (How many times will I have to tell her: DONT BUY ONE THAT SAYS DIARY ON IT?)

* * *

_Monday_

In school, Greg had just arrived in the hallway. His backpack seemed heavier for some reason. Oddly enough, Rowley wasn't there. Nothing really happened until Gym class, where Greg went outside. He didn't want to change with the others, so he went outside and took off his normal clothes. His gym clothes were under them. It made him hot, but it was totally worth it. Soon enough, other people were there. Somebody noticed a piece of moldy caramel on the ground.

* * *

So now instead of Cheese Touch, it was Caramel Touch.

Stupid, right?

Coach Malone tried to make us run around the track, but we were all going out of our way to avoid the caramel, so we went inside early. For some reason, Patti stared at me, shocked, but I didn't know why. I ignored it and went back in, but then the fire alarm rang. Now, anyone who's been to my school for a decent amount of time would know that it's a false alarm, but of course, the school went all crazy.

* * *

Everyone was rushing outside, even though the teachers were trying to calm them down. It got even crazier when they went outside and someone pointed out that the caramel was gone.

* * *

Everyone went INSANE trying to figure out what happened to it. Some people made up some ridiculous theories. I even joined in on the "fun" so that I wouldn't look suspicious. Rowley wasn't here today, so I couldn't pin the blame on him, not that I would have or anything. Then Patty Farrell stared at me, with her hands at her hips.

* * *

"Is there something you want to tell us?" she asked Greg.

"No." he said calmly.

* * *

I guess she was trying to guilt trip me into "admitting" it, but to be honest, I had no idea what happened to it. I was too busy trying to avoid it. She kept trying to get me to admit it, but I didn't. So she lied to everyone, saying I did it. I was still safe, when a few people said they never saw me near it. But then she said something totally ridiculous:

* * *

"This pink THING in his backpack ate it! He has the caramel touch now!" Patty yelled. Her efforts to slander Greg were in vain, because everyone ignored her. She went closer to him.

"If you didn't take it, empty out your bag. NOW." she commanded.

* * *

Hey, if it would shut her up, I would do it. I reached into my bag, and felt something weird.

* * *

"There it is!" Patty was saying. Greg had no idea what she was talking about. There was NO WAY anyone would believe her. He had nothing pink in his backpack, unless...oh, no!

* * *

Pinky must have followed me without me knowing! That's why my bag seemed so much heavier than usual! Pinky came out and made some baby noises.

"NO PETS ALLOWED!" shouted Patty. "Hahahaha, not only are you going to be in trouble, but YOU HAVE THE CARAMEL TOUCH!"

Pinky didn't seem to know what was going on. Everyone stepped away from us (me and Pinky). I could hear Patty's laughter the whole time.

* * *

Meanwhile, a large penguin was near a fire alarm. He went away from the shadows after everyone passed him.

"Heheheh...now that I've tracked down that darned Kirb-eh, I can clobber him! No one can stand in my way, not even Greg!" He laughed. "KIRB-EH, PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MATCH!"


	3. Chapter 3

You would NOT believe what happened.

Soon after everybody ran away from me and Pinky, some spoiled giant penguin came outside, being carried on a throne by little creatures, similar to the ones we saw in Dreamland. I just stood there and watched as Pinky and the penguin fought. I thought Pinky didn't stand a chance, because his enemy had a huge hammer, but...remember how I said Pinky would eat ANYTHING? Well, he somehow managed to inhale the doors open, swallow water from the water fountain (Patty Farrell was drinking from the fountain, so her face got wet!), and also the penguin. I just stood there in shock as he spit it all out. A giant star, followed by spiraling geysers of water, launched into the sky like a rocket. The star took the form of the penguin, who was sent blasting off.

But that wasn't even the weirdest part.

* * *

"I'll get you next time, Kirby!" he yelled. "Nobody messes with King Dedede!"

"Kirby?" Greg asked, turning to him. He responded with non understandable noises.

"Greg Heffley." said a man's voice behind him. He looked to see not only Coach Malone, but Vice Principal Roy. They did NOT look happy.

Greg found himself in the office, lectured seemingly endlessly about the "No pets" rule. Kirby waved at him, but the two of them ignored him. Coach Malone then got the idea to call Greg's parents.

"No, please! Don't call them! I swear he followed me here! He's not even mine!" Greg pleaded.

* * *

I wish I never said that.

That just gave them more reason to call my parents for bringing in a "stray" pet. VP Roy kept lecturing me on the "dangers" and "responsibilities" of taking in a pet, especially one not owned by you. Hey, I thought Kirby was weird, but he did do more good than harm. Anyway, Vice Principal Roy tried to reach them a couple of times, without avail. After the sixth time, he was able to reach someone. I wasn't really listening, but I heard a few things.

* * *

"Hello. This is Vice Principal Roy."

"Yeah, he brought in a stray pet."

"A parent teacher conference every day this month? Well, if you think it'll help."

Greg's jaw dropped. The month of January JUST rolled around. What Vice Principal Roy said next made Greg even more worried: "Greg, your dad thinks I should check on you at least once after every period, and that's after your one week suspension."

Greg asked if he could get the phone, but Vice Principal Roy said my dad was so disappointed in me that he wouldn't even talk to me. He begged a little more, and VP Roy gave in.

"H-Hello? Dad?" Greg realized his voice sounded a little more whiny than usual.

"Hey there...little brother."

"Rodrick!" Greg yelled.

* * *

I had COMPLETELY forgotten that Rodrick got suspended from school, and was home with his parents, who had taken off today because of a doctor's appointment. So I'm sure he was trying to drag me down with him. Rodrick immediately dropped the phone after I yelled at him. I could hear some kids snickering from outside the office. When I left, Patty Farrell came in after me. I wondered what she had gotten in trouble for, but then Vice Principal Roy handed her what looked like a badge. At first I thought it was some kind of little trophy, but a closer look made my stomach turn. She was a Safety Patrol! And I was sure she joined for no other reason than to torture everyone she didn't like. Unfortunately, I was one of them.

I tried to sprint as fast as I could before she saw me, but she heard my footsteps and blew the whistle.

* * *

"Greg Heffley, you know the rules. No running in the hallways. Go back to the office." Patty demanded.

"You can't just abuse your privileges like that!" Gregory yelled back, not thinking.

Patty wrote something down in a notepad. "Talking back to a Safety Patrol." she said to herself. She then yelled louder: "Go into the office before I beat you up!" Some guys were snickering. Greg had to choose between obeying Patty and being embarrassed, or getting beat up.

* * *

Guess which option I chose?

I turned tail and ran, but some jocks blocked my way. Patty got in front of me and dragged me to the front office door. She had a tight grip on me, so I couldn't even escape. Vice Principal Roy just sighed when he saw me. Patty gave her the notepad, and I got more punishment. In addition to the suspension being extended to two weeks, I had to stay in detention for another two weeks after school.

It seemed like in the office forever before the after school bell finally rang. I ran all the way home to escape into the safety of my home. I knew Rodrick would be doing something related to Loded Diper. Like I said in my first journal entry, that's just how he spells it, so don't correct me on the spelling. In fact, if you were to tell him how it was actually supposed to be spelled, he wouldn't believe it. I opened the door, and Mom was in front.

If there's one person you don't want to be punished by, it's Mom. Dad would just throw something at you and let it blow over, and maybe give a lecture. Mom? She not only lectured you, but let you off for a while until she could come up with a suitable punishment. Sometimes she just came up with one on the spot.

Mom forced me to make a whole bunch of lost pet posters for Kirby. He kept pestering me, so I was a lot slower. Mom tried to take a picture, but Kirby just kept avoiding them, so I was forced to draw a picture of him on each and every one. There had to be at least two hundred by the time we were done.

* * *

Mom was about to spread them across town, but Dad came home with other plans. He made GREG go across town by himself and spread them. Greg tried to worm his way out of it by saying that many people would want a never before seen pet, but they weren't having it. By the time Greg went outside and put down thirty posters, he was already tired. An idea then popped in his head as he went to Rowley's house. He was even more tired than before, but it would be worth it to have a friend help him out. Unfortunately, he didn't see any cars, which meant no one was home. He looked around to see a little kid around eight. Greg knew him as Scotty from Rowley's karate class.

"Hi. Rowley traveled to a place called Dreamland." Scotty said.

At first Greg thought he meant he was asleep, but then he remembered his road trip. He actually hoped he didn't bring back a Kirby pet, or else he wouldn't have something unique anymore. Greg went back to spreading posters, but Kirby ate them all.

"NO!" Greg yelled in defeat, but Kirby spit them out and magically spread them neatly on vertical surfaces.

* * *

I stared at him in shock. How did he _do that_?

I had no time to ponder that as I ran back home. It was early evening, so even if I walked, I could get home just in time, and maybe catch some Zs. The rest of the day went by normally. Manny fell asleep early, and Rodrick didn't get home until early morning.

TUESDAY

Because I was suspended, I was able to get more sleep. Kirby didn't wake up until early afternoon, and Rodrick kept to himself, which was good for me. He was assigned to make sure Kirby and I didn't go out of line, but he wasn't doing his job. I lifted Kirby up and went outside to check the mail. There was a letter from my school about Spirit Week, which was a day after my suspension and detention session was over. Two of the activities were bring your pet to school day and a talent show. The others I didn't care about. I felt something weird in my mailbox, so I gently dropped Kirby beside me and tried to yank it out. It turned out to be a masked, yellow eyed figure similarly shaped to Kirby. It spread its purple wings and flew towards me.

**_"Fight me!"_**


End file.
